Weblog

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

  • back in the saddle again

    well its been a long week. ha the sad thing is the week aint over yet. but come friday mornin i'll be zeroin in my rifle. come high noon friday i'll be skinnin me a hog. and come friday evenin, while everybody else is raisin cane, me and o buckeye's gonna point our noses towards a o beat trail and follow it all the way to the campfire. i'll sing a few songs, put some coffee on, heck maybe i'll even bust me a rabbit'r two - put some meat on the fire. but thats really the only interestin thing i got to talk about. so... till next time i recon.

Thursday, 16 October 2008

  • i rode the storm

    the storm clouds were gettin heavier the closer i got to the pasture. there's a bronc out there that my friend said cant nobody ride. i, of course, took the challenge, because whether he realised it or not - he said there was a horse out there, somewhere, that i couldn't ride. that, to me, is fightin words. i saddled up my tennessee, rambo, as the rain started to pour. and by pour, i mean it stared sure enough pourin. it almost seemed like it was nightfall out yonder on the open praire. the sky had become black like night, with just enough light left to see where i was goin - kinda like a full moon. i looked around for about a half hour when i spotted this bronc that "nobody could ride." i whooped out my lasso and my friend, along with one other fella, helped me while i worked my way up on his back. he bucked good'n hard as i rode him. holdin onto nothin but main, there watn much holdin me on except pride'n want to. he ducked'n turned but i by golly rode em. i rode em for what felt like a lifetime till he gave up buckin'n took to jus runnin. he tried slingin me but i held on. the, finally, he jus gave in. he jus kinda stopped right out in the middle of that pasture. we was both tired'n i that horse knew it. i rode him around for all of about ten minutes till i felt comfortable with him. it watn nowhere close to easy, but i rode him hard and he came down easy. there aint many times that i been throwed, and this here horse watn nowhere near ready for this fight.

    we got em pinned up right now. tomorrow i'll work a saddle on em. but as for now, that horse is good as broke. i named him storm, cause i rodde him in the heavy wind and rain, and he kicked like a pissed off mule. i think storm's a damn good name for a damn good horse like than's gonna be.

Wednesday, 01 October 2008

  • jack daniel's lullaby

    i feel like i'm wrestlin with the devil every time i pick up my guitar. there's somethin inside of me that won't let me play a happy tune or anything up-beat. and if i do start to play somethin like that it always winds up sad. i cant seem to write anything that aint got nothin to do with hurtin or drinkin. i tried writin a song about ridin my horse and workin on the farm yesterday but even that turned out bein no more than another sad drinkin song. its pretty dang hard to make the world happy when u aint happy urself. its impossible. maybe its justa curse i'm destined to carry.. it feels jus like i'm broke down right smack dab in the middle of lonesome and there aint no way out. last night i felt myself fall even further down when i finished off that 5th of tennessee. i remember starin down into that empty bottle while the campfire light danced off the glass.. and wonderin how it could be so hard to crawl out from inside of it.. maybe i'm jus bein hard on myself. maybe i aint bein hard enough on myself. then again.. maybe i jus need to stop givin a damn. but then that wouldn work cause the best and the worst in me seem to all come out at the same time. hell i dont know.

    for the past 4 months i been findin myself jus kinda coastin through life.. watchin the days come and go.. wrestlin with the nights and then kickin myself when the sun comes back up. i don't understand why but it seems like i'm headin right for the wrong direction back to my old ways. i would kill for a reason to turn around and jus stop.. but every time i see a light i wind up gettin too close to the fire. a relationship for me aint no more than a time bomb. its only a matter of time before somebody gets hurt. i lost all hope in people.. i jus don't trust folks no more. i used to be a real trustful o boy but now... i feel like i cant trust enough to even hand out my name sometimes.. not that my name is stupid'r nothin. i like it. but the way i see it why give ur name to somebody who don't need it. i'm a big christian and god always said love everybody but the lord aint makin it easy on me. heck maybe thats just it. maybe i'm bein tested. then again i'm only a man. granted i'm a cowboy of a man there's only so much a man can take. i walk'n talk tough but holdin my chest up's gettin to be a challenge. o well. this aint my first taste dirt and it certainly aint my first rodeo. i recon the best thing a man can do at times like this is jus to cowboy up. hold on for the ride.

Monday, 29 September 2008

  • chill time

    catchin my breath after this weekend wont be easy. i been raisin hell and runnin round like a chicken with my head cut off for 72 hours straight. hell we even did a little raisin cane tonight. its good o times like this weekend that make bein me a whole heck of alot easier. then again my grandpaw told me one time long before he died; "son u can forget all about ur troubles but they're still all gonna be there lookin u in the face when u look in the mirror in the mornin." he said alotta stuff like that that jus kinda stays with me. evry bit of its hittin the nail on the head. and now the mornins here already.. so now i recon i'm jus waitin on sunrise to burn up my good time. but o well.. there's always somebody out there thats got it worse than u i guess.. heartache aint nothin knew.. i should be used to it.

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

  • the stars won't shine no more

        its hard to hold my head up in this town. its been 3 long years since i got outta here but college lead me right back. nobody seems to have forgotten the boy i used to be but everybody seems to have forgotten me. either that or they don't care remember. the hell i created for myself burned up alotta bridges and showed me just how many friends i really have here in the mississippi delta. its hard being the guy with the sign on his back.

        i grew up without a dad to be there to teach me and mold me. so what i am today is my own damn fault. i cant blame mama or dad or anybody else but me. don't take that the wrong way though cause i love my folks to death. i jus cant help but sit here and wonder "what if." i mean what if my dad had always been there to sit on my shoulders and made me do right? what if mama never married that prick from yazoo county? stuff woulda been alot different. i'd be allot different. but hell u know.. shit happens. thats the story of my life. even though things never turned out in my favor mama wound up with two more good lookin kids and so did dad. mama got rid of my prick stepdad and got'rself a doctor for a boyfriend. dad's married to supermom and they live happily in brandon with the pearl river for a front yard. where does that leave me though?

        i grew up learnin every lesson the hard way. mama had her work cut out for her when i was growin up. i aint scared to say that i was a hell raisin boy. i still am. some how i cant seem to find a good enough reason to settle down. then again.. settlin down's for quitters i recon. sometimes i don't even think i'd be man enough to settle down. and even if i did folks round here'd still remember. they can all go to hell.

        i would say i don care what folks think. but life's mighty hard when ur all alone. findin a hand to hold aint hard. findin a hand to hold that knows what i done and who i was is hell. i mean i aint never been a badass or a prick'r nothin.. its just that yall i when i say i raised hell i mean every word of it. then folks started dying and my heart got broke and the sky fell in on me. there watn nowhere else to go but the hard rock bottom of lonesome. folks don't seem to care about how hard it was on me. they just care that i was there.

        i made so many mistakes in my life. but sometimes.. like tonight.. i think the worst mistake i coulda done was survive that mess. sometimes i'm glad i did cause i appreciate life more and i'm proud of the lessons i learned. but tonight aint one of them nights. its never ok to be lonely. i'm done whining for one night.

       


Top Tags

[no tags]

tuff

  • Visit tuff's Datingish Site
    • Name: Hunter
    • Birthday: 8/18/1989
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 9/22/2008

Archives

Don't worry - your calendar is here… to see it in action just click "Save" above and refresh the page.

About Me

  • i'm laid back, easy goin, and outgoin. i'm the same person everyday when i wake up and that wont change for nobody. everybody's a friend. i'm good at ridin a buckin horse, singin, huntin, fishin, and havin a good time. i love to be under a spotlight in a smoke filled bar room, i love lovin, and i love laughin. i say whats on my mind and i wont beat around the bush (unless i'm tellin a story or talkin smack. then beatin around the bush makes it sound better). i drink, saddle up, or play my guitar when i'm lonesome which is most nights nowadays. to be honest this sight was more of a last resort for me cause i'm runnin off no sleep, hard times and heartache all though i'm no stranger to any of those things. i'm hopin to find lots of new friends and possibly.. hopefully.. somebody to fix my broken heart. i dream of warm nashville spotlights and a great big southwest texas horse ranch. one of these days i'll make it happen. but in the mean time i want somebody to make it easier to walk.

Groups

[no groups]

Pulse

Photostrip

[no photos]

Recommended

[no recommendations]